I have to admit...I feel jealous and left out (you'd think that feeling would be permanently part of me and not sting anymore) but I wish I was invited to go for drinks to celebrate Aaron's finishing school. But I guess him and Cameron are friends and I'm not their friend. Even though I really really wish I was. It would make me really happy- I know because it's hard to hold back teary eyes while I am typing/thinking about this. I should know that last night was nothing more than the actions of an intoxicated human. It had no meaning, just fun words and sensual actions because it fit the moment and nothing else. Oh how my hope seems to revive it's self from post mortem. It really shouldn't.
I would be happy to die surrounded by the sanctity of Earth. Forest soil under my body, rain dropping into my mouth and carefully splashing on my skin. Gazing up at the dark sky filled with stars and none but the moon witnessing my departure. The fog acknowledging my last breaths.
What peace, What happiness, What tranquility